Velia Strydom excitedly planned her 40th birthday party to perfection.
But instead of blowing out her candles at the Protea Hotel, surrounded by the 100 guests she had invited, her family had to celebrate the day without her.
She had put it all together herself, a teal and rose gold theme, with Proverbs 11:16 on little scrolls on every table, exactly the way she wanted it.
“It was incredibly sad,” family spokesperson and Strydom’s uncle, Warrick Langisa, told IOL in reaction to the case being transferred to the high court for trial.
“She had arranged the whole party down to the finest detail but could not be present for it.”
The mother of four was strangled to death, allegedly by her boyfriend Mervyn Bock, at his Trotter Street flat in Knysna in December.
Bock, 40, the man she loved and trusted, then allegedly wrapped her lifeless body in a sheet, slung it into a borrowed car and dumped it in bushes near the Red Bridge.
And for six long days her body lay in those bushes, left to rot in the dirt and unbearable heat.
All the while, her four children held onto hope and prayed, night after night, that their mother would come home.
By the time police found her just 13 days before Christmas, her body had festered so badly there was almost nothing left to know her by.
So much so that when officers put out a public appeal to help identify her, all they could offer was that she wore a floral skirt and white nail polish, and that she had been left topless.
Bock was arrested, charged with her murder and defeating the ends of justice.
He was denied bail.
And if the affidavit of the man who investigated her murder, detective Sergeant Mqondisi Dyani, is anything to go by, being caught was the last thing Bock wanted, having so callously Googled how to get away with it.
He remained behind bars, and earlier this month the case was transferred to the high court for trial.
Police spokesperson Warrant Officer Chris Spies said a post-mortem had been conducted to establish the cause of death, and that the findings formed part of the investigation.
“The outstanding autopsy report forms part of the murder investigation and more charges could be added as the investigation unfolds,” Spies said.
Seven months on, her four children were still coming to terms with the fact they would never see their mother again.
The youngest was only 12.
“As one might imagine, it is incredibly hard for her kids,” Langisa said on Monday night.
“The youngest is only 12 years old and taking it very hard.”
The children were now dotted in different parts of the country, unable to even grieve their mother together.
The two youngest boys were being raised by their grandmother, Strydom’s mother.
The 17-year-old was at boarding school during the week.
The second eldest was studying to become a teacher in Bloemfontein, and the eldest had recently qualified as a nurse.
“It is difficult because they are not all physically together to help each other through this tough time,” Langisa said.
Such was the state of her corpse that the family could not even open the coffin to say goodbye.
“People wanted to see Velia, but we couldn’t take the risk of opening the coffin,” Langisa said.
Still, they kept their mother close the only way they could, by talking about her.
“They ask about our mom, and though we are all different ages, the pain is the same,” Langisa said.
“Losing her has left a hole in all our lives.
“They remind each other of how much she loved them and how proud she was to be their mom.
“We talk about her often because we never want her to become just another headline.”
Langisa said the family missed her, even now and again phoning her, forgetting in that moment that she had died.
“Whenever something good or bad happens, the kids said their first instinct was still to call their mom,” he said.
“We miss hearing her voice, laughing with her, confiding in her, and simply knowing she was there.
“Birthdays, holidays, graduations and family gatherings are especially difficult because her absence is impossible to ignore.”
Strydom was a mother before she was anything else.
“She loved her kids more than anything on this planet,” Langisa said.
“She protected them and raised them to be extraordinary youngsters.
“Those four kids were her entire life.”
She had dreamed of reopening a creche for underprivileged and special needs children, like the one she once ran in Kariega, formerly Uitenhage.
“She had the most contagious laugh and smile. She was also so concerned that others are happy,” Langisa said.
“She never looked like her problems and her smile shone brighter than her pain.
“She was a mother hen and a confidant to many.”
Much of what the family knew of Strydom’s final hours had come from the evidence led at Bock’s bail application.
Dyani told the Knysna Magistrate’s Court that a witness had been with the couple at a club on December 5, where Bock allegedly grew agitated and aggressive towards Strydom before grabbing her and forcing her out.
Dyani said CCTV footage showed Bock entering his flat with Strydom that night, and leaving alone the next day.
He allegedly returned in a vehicle borrowed from a friend, and footage showed him carrying what appeared to be a body and loading it inside.
When Strydom’s friends grew worried, Bock allegedly assured them she was safe and with him, blaming her silence on a broken phone.
Langisa said Bock had kept her phone and used it to fend off those trying to reach her.
“Whenever the phone rang, and it was on, he would answer and say she was in the bathroom or busy doing something,” Langisa said.
When police arrived to arrest Bock on New Year’s Day, Dyani testified, he tried to flee by jumping off the balcony.
Officers seized his phone and allegedly found a string of disturbing internet searches, including “how long will it take to heal from strangulation”, “how long does the body take to get cold after being dead” and “people who get away with murder”.
Bock pleaded not guilty.
The case returns to court on August 5.
The family had waited seven months for the trial, and asked only that it be fair.
“Please let our Velia’s voice be heard through this trial,” Langisa said.
“She cannot speak for herself anymore, so we are depending on the justice system to do that for her.
“All we ask is that justice is served fairly, that the truth comes out, and that Velia gets the justice she deserves.”
The family said it would attend the trial to the end.
“The family will be in court as much as possible to see the trial through,” Langisa said.
